i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
