i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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