Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
