Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
