Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
