We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Where is the hickey?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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