You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
