rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
