Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
