Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
