By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
