i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
