his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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