you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
