Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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