my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
