The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
