Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
