Buhtt sex?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Randomize
