Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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