Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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