please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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