Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize