girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
