he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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