You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
