they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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