Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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