please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
