I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
