tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
