sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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