I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
