Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
