I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
