I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm at about main and main street
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
