Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
