Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
