life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
