she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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