lets start a swedish sibling band together
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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