hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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