I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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