i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
