Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
