My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize