I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
