Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
What drink are we having for lunch?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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