That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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