Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
