hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
It's official drugs can't kill me
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
