Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i just had sex bonerless
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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