do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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