Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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