Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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