You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
