Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
