you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
