It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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