38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
