Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize