He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Randomize
