We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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