Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
